I could not have went 7-1 with my picks last weekend without the help of the Town of Mayberry. My lone blemish was Catawba's lopsided loss to West Georgia.

Hollywood's fictional sleepy town must be stirring with anticipation because Mayberrians gave me an earful about the SAC's Week 1 results.

Let's reminisce on the good times and the bad, shall we?

Recap - Week 1

Carson-Newman: 59 Cumberlands: 56

A mixed bag of emotions was felt by the Carson-Newman faithful in a wild 59-56 Thursday night win over the University of the Cumberlands (KY). The Eagles notched their 600th all-time victory in the school's storied history.

Mayberry's "heard, but not seen" phone operator Sarah was eavesdropping on some rather colorful conversations taking place about the Carson-Newman defense.

"I told you so!" exclaimed deputy Barney Fife during a late night call to Floyd the Barber. "The Patriots gashed the Eagles for almost 450 yards of total offense."

"Yeah, but Barney, give the Carson-Newman defense some credit," Floyd replied. "Linebacker Malik Miles made a gutsy fourth down stop on sensational running back Hunter Lewis late in the ball game."

Fearless Fife insisted that the town barber had it all wrong. Sure it was a great moment for the defense after turning Cumberlands over on downs, but take a look at the entire picture.

Should a team with the prestige and swagger of Carson-Newman feel pressed to make a crucial fourth down defensive play to help preserve a win against Cumberlands? Special teams was a huge problem for Carson-Newman too.

Wendell Williams was a one man wrecking crew. He scored on a first quarter 97 yard kickoff return and a fourth quarter 98 yard kickoff return. Throw in a 59 yard pay dirt run with less than two minutes to play, and Williams is an obvious choice for NAIA Special Teams Player of the Week.

#8 Lenoir-Rhyne: 41 West Chester: 28

At first I thought I was being rather humorous when I mentioned Lenoir-Rhyne's powerful offensive line would give Bear quarterback Evin Sims enough time to thaw in their season opener last Thursday night.

Aunt Bea had referred to the trench men as a side of beef in my previous column.

Frozen meat defrosts in the refrigerator at a consistent temperature reading of 35 to 40 degrees. With the amount of space and tempo the offensive line provided Sims, he could have thawed for two weeks behind the line of scrimmage without West Chester noticing. The Bears wiped out West Chester in a Top 25 battle to the tune of 41-28. It is no wonder he was named the league's offensive player of the week.

After a near two-hour delay in the action against the Golden Rams, the game should have been delayed again due to a massive wipeout taking place on the field of play. The score remained 41 to 7 for the longest time, until the Rams reeled off 21 fourth quarter points that only helped the morale of the home team.

An amazing first half interception by the Lenoir-Rhyne secondary helped put an exclamation mark on the Bear's stout defensive play.

Sheriff Taylor sure was giddy over it.

"Boy, oh boy, right cheer in the South Atlantic Conference?" Taylor exclaimed. "Lenoir-Rhyne's top flight defensive back Cliff Barrett earned the Sportscenter top play of Thursday night's sports world."

#3 West Georgia: 44 Catawba: 13

I went for a walk on Tuesday night, trying to clear my head from Catawba's spiraling 44-13 defeat at the hands of West Georgia.

As I made my way towards Shuford Stadium, I saw Sheriff Andy Taylor talking with Mr. McBeevee, who has up high in the trees of West Innes Street.

"I bet you can make smoke come out of your ears!" exclaimed Taylor.

"Yes, I sure can." laughed McBeevee. "Just like the Wolves made smoke come out of Catawba's offense in the second half."

Mr. McBeevee is Opie Taylor's inexplicable friend who has twelve extra hands, wears a silver hat, and jingles when he walks. Of course all of this is perfectly explainable when talking with Andy during my walk.

What is hard to account for, however, is how West Georgia outscored the Catawba Indians 28-0 without twelve extra hands.

The near-perfect quarterback play of Dallas Dickey certainly helped matters. The senior Harlon Hill Trophy candidate completed 15 of his 17 passes for 204 yards and a pair of second half scores.

Wingate: 14 Johnson C. Smith: 0

There was as much concern over Wingate's slim 14-0 victory against Johnson C. Smith last Saturday as there was for Deputy Fife when he bought a clunker car from Myrt "Hubcaps" Lesh.

The Bulldog offense was efficient most of the day, demonstrating great ball control, but did get bit by the penalty bug on 12 occasions for almost 100 yards.

Mrs. Lesh bit Barney's entire savings account of $300 for her lemon of a car that was supposedly only driven to church. Barney's kindness was taken for granted by this "chop shop" leader, and boy was the Mayberry deputy in for a bumpy ride.

The Golden Bulls experienced their own turbulence in Charlotte, NC, on Saturday. The CIAA team managed only 31 net rushing yards, and their starting running back Desean Binyard averaged a pedestrian 2.8 yards per rush.

Speaking of pedestrian, I am so glad that Barney did not hit any bystanders standing near the road when I joined him for a test drive in his car. Odd noises were coming from the clunker, some kind of part had fallen off, and ultimately the steering column was ejected towards Fife in the middle of driving.

While clutching the wheel tightly, Fife echoed, "At least the quarterback play of Kyle Johnson was steady, going 15 of 20 for 143 yards and a score. That's much more reliable than this hunk of junk."

Western Carolina: 42 Mars Hill: 14

I happened to watch only bits and pieces of Western Carolina's decisive 42 to 14 win over Mars Hill.

And wouldn't you know as soon as I tuned in, I witnessed a tipped pass fall into the awaiting hands of Lion running back Shaikel Davis for a 24-yard fourth quarter touchdown.

It was as bizarre of a scoring play as it was watching Sheriff Taylor read "Jack and the Beanstalk" as a bed time story to Otis inside the jail.

And to be frank, that's quite bizzare.

Mars Hill's scoring plays came few and far between in the mountains of Cullowhee. The same cannot be said for the Catamounts. Quarterback Troy Mitchell threw for roughly 300 yards and tacked on nearly 70 yards on the ground.

On a bright note, Mars Hill defensive back Trey Clark likely broke the PA system with 16 tackles on the night. His name was repeated constantly. His name was repeated, ah, you get the idea.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum," began Andy to the half-awake, half-asleep town drunk.

"Andy, are you reading about that Beanstalk story again?" Otis interrupted.

"No sir," Andy replied. "This is the story of Western Carolina's domination of Saturday's contest."

Newberry: 31 Florida Tech: 28

I had a very strong feeling that Florida Tech and Newberry might be decided late in the fourth quarter. My predicted 31-30 Newberry win was very close to the actual 31-28 outcome.

A visit to Ellie Walker at the drug store was in order after Newberry's comeback win.

I plopped myself down at the counter and Ms. Walker asked what I would like to purchase.

"Cheerwine and some kind words honey," I replied. "You should have reminded me that Saturday night's game was not going to be for the faint of heart!"

Being that she is Andy's girlfriend and all, I felt like she had seen me tagging along with the Sheriff and Barney the past couple of weeks, and would be able to give me the inside scoop of the Wolves' strategy from last week.

"It is quite simple really," Ellie said. "Run the ball, play defense, and then run the ball some more."

I understand her uncle, Fred Walker, is the head pharmacist, but Ellie has a knack for reading prescriptions for success and proper dosages for rushing yards.

Newberry piled up 318 yards on the ground, including 113 from the heroic Raleigh Yeldell under center. Yeldell engineered an 11 play, 92-yard drive that ended with a seven yard scamper to take the lead for good.

The Town of Mayberry will definitely keep its eye out for Raleigh this year in Newberry, SC. (Being that it is the state's capital for North Carolina and all.)

Virginia Union: 35 Brevard: 21

Virginia Union has always been a team that is tough to crack in my opinion, although they may not make much noise on the Division II landscape.

The Tornados from Brevard were diverted from a possible "W" in the win column, to an agonizing defeat in Richmond, VA, in the final quarter.Three unanswered touchdowns in the game's final fifteen minutes lifted the Panthers in front of a packed Hovey Field.

Neither team exhibited "Carson-Newman vs. Cumberlands" type of offenses in their season opener, but Virginia Union's three rushing touchdowns by Lamar Webster proved to be a real difference.

Or perhaps the difference maker wasn't any one player or coach from Virginia Union, but from an MD instead, according to Barney.

"A doctor!?" yelled Sheriff Taylor to Barney.

No, a Mayberry Deputy," boasted Fife. "Me, Ange, me! Coach Mark James nipped it in the bud. We had lunch over in Mount Pilot on Friday afternoon and spoke about how to thwart Brevard's relentless option tactics."

The Tornados were limited to a mere 130 ground yards, compared to Virginia Union's 219 yards.

Of course Barn had to chime in one last comment. "I bet Coach Paul Hamilton thought Virginia Union was going to be a part of Tornado Alley," said Fearless Fife. "Shows what a great defensive game plan can do when you nip the option in the bud."

Tusculum: 47 Virginia-Wise: 28
Week 2 Predictions

It's time to go undefeated in Week 2 ladies and gentlemen.

Saturday - September 12, 2015


Carson-Newman: 45 Shorter: 38
Tusculum: 31 Virginia St: 21
Bowie State: 42 Brevard: 17
Newberry: 36 Jacksonville: 33
Chattanooga: 63 Mars Hill: 14
Wingate: 22 Shaw: 3
Catawba: 24 Davidson: 10
Lenoir-Rhyne: 33 North Greenville:15