I know I am not the only individual that had to take a deep breath after last weekend's eye-opening slate of games and their results. Catawba defeated Carson-Newman in a low scoring affair. Lenoir-Rhyne needed 55 points and three overtimes to outlast Tusculum. Mars Hill and Limestone were going toe-to-toe for most of that contest. This week's column is sure to be the best one yet. You will also find out which law Sheriff Andy Taylor is breaking that was set forth by the North Carolina General Assembly.

And of course, what would my column be without my predictions each week? A reference to Wayne Allyn Root and his uncanny sports handicapping is mentioned as well. I do not think he is running for the nation's highest office. Patrick Britz is already the SAC Commissioner and he does a fantastic job.

Wait a minute.

Did you think I was referring to the November 2016 presidential election?

Don't be silly.

Mars Hill: 36 Limestone: 26

Deputy Barney Fife swung the Mayberry Courthouse door open and slammed it just as quickly upon his entrance. Sheriff Taylor and I knew Barney had run amuck.

"What's wrong Barn?" offered Andy to his fellow lawman.

"What's wrong?! I'll tell you what is wrong Andy!" said Fife with a crinkled up press release in his hand. "Mars Hill's Cameron Ray has been snubbed. He wasn't named the league's defensive player of the week. This is injustice!"

Barney had every right to be upset. I explained to Andy that the compact freshman defensive back was larger than life in the Lion's 36-26 hard-fought win over an upstart Limestone team.

Ray had intercepted two passes in the fourth quarter when the Saints were marching towards late-game heroics.

"Oh when the Saints go marching in!" bellowed Otis inside his gloomy jail cell. "When Saints go marching in, O Lord, I want to be in that..."

"Quiet down Otis," interrupted the three of us.

Speaking of heroics, Coach Tim Clifton's offense features a lineup that has more super hero novelties than the Avengers. Running backs Shaikel Davis and Jamel Harbison united for over 230 rushing yards and three total touchdowns.

Freshman sensation Keshaun Taylor reeled in two more receiving touchdowns, giving him six scores in the past two weeks.

Catawba: 14 Carson-Newman: 7

One of Catawba's most memorable victories over Carson-Newman was back at the turn of the century, when Matt Gross kicked a chip shot field goal in the Indians 13-10 win.

Fifteen years later, the game again came down to field goals in large part. Or perhaps the lack of success of the three-point try by Coach Ken Sparks and the Eagles' special teams.

Catawba blocked two field goals in crucial situations in their 14-7 gridlock win over the veer-oriented Eagles last Saturday.

Barney, who was practicing his gun-drawing for his usual ten minutes per day, offered his opinion as to why Catawba was so successful. (And also why he practices gun-drawing in the first place.)

"Coach Curtis Walker nipped the option game in the bud," said Fife like a broken record. "Carson-Newman only managed 99 yards in the second half."

"And about my side arm, if I ever have to use this baby, I want to teach it to come to papa in a hurry!"

Catawba quarterback Mike Sheehan's arm appeared fine, just like Barney's. The junior completed 19 of 24 passes on the day for 163 yards and accounted for two scores.

The Catawba Indians had full control of the game's time of possession, occupying the football more than 9 minutes longer than the Eagles.

Wingate 37 Brevard: 0

Apparently Barney is planning on getting a side gig as a comedian. That's the only way to describe the long-time deputy as he was giving Andy and myself the nitty-gritty on Wingate's pulverizing 37-0 thrashing of Brevard over the weekend.

"The Bulldogs were Berry good, Ange and Tommy," said Fife. "And that's all Foulks."

Andy and I looked at each other in disbelief at how just how bad that delivery was by the deputy. Barney is keeping his day job, and so are Wingate wide out Jordan Berry and defensive end Andre Foulks.

Berry is one of the country's best kept secrets at wide out, but perhaps his play over the weekend let the cat out of the bag. Foulks keeps offensive coordinators wide awake at night, and Halloween is more than a month out.

Brevard mustered only seven first downs and 66 yards of offense. (And one of those first downs was by means of a first quarter roughing the passer penalty.)

Remember when I mentioned former South Carolina Gamecock commit Jody Fuller joining the Bulldogs in my very first column?

C'mon sure you do.

"I remember it Tommy," said Fife while biting into a legendary pork chop sandwich at the Snappy Diner. "You said that Wingate's offense would be spicy with the likes of Berry and Fuller involved in it."

Yes I did.

Case in point, Fuller returned the second half's opening kick 82 yards to the house.

Better add some more Texas Pete to that sandwich, Barn.

Lenoir-Rhyne: 55 Tusculum: 52 (3OT)

"Ange, how do you feel about feats of strength?" Barney said while popping his knuckles.

"Pardon me?" laughed Andy.

"I'm talking about that instant classic-of-a-game in Greeneville, TN where Lenoir-Rhyne outlasted Tusculum 55-52 in three, count 'em three overtimes. Both teams lived up to their respective strengths."

"I tell you what Barn," interjected Sheriff Taylor. "I felt so bad for the Pioneer's Ken Funnye when he coughed up that ball in the third overtime."

The Lenoir-Rhyne offense piled up 591 rushing yards on a school record 89 attempts, while Tusculum torched the flammable Bear secondary for 452 yards and six touchdown tosses.

Going back to the painful sequence of events in the third overtime (Or the joyous events in the eyes of the Bears), saw Lenoir-Rhyne begin their drive at the 12-yard line.

Tusculum linebacker L'Keith Brown incurred an unsportsmanlike penalty at the end of the second over-time, leading to great field position for the opposing side.

The Pioneer defense however, for the first time all afternoon, stood tall for three downs, yielding a Hunter Haire 24-yard field goal by the Bears.

Tusculum's first play on the following possession was a quick 5-yard pass to Funnye, which led to Bear corner back Kyle Dugger forcing and recovering the fumble. Dugger was named as the SAC's defensive player of the week for his stellar play. It should be mentioned he returned a 45-yard fumble recovery for an early fourth quarter touchdown as well.

Newberry: 31 North Greenville: 6

The small town of Newberry doesn't have much going for it in the way of excitement. At least not until the dominating 31-6 performance Newberry displayed over the visiting Crusaders.

The Wolves are receiving votes in the recent AFCA Division II Coaches' Top 25 Poll, and are a certain player in the Division II playoff picture this fall.

Quarterback Raleigh Yeldell sat out last weekend's contest due to injury, but the combination of Braxton Ivery and Zach Blair was more than enough to overwhelm the upset-minded Crusaders.

Fresh after knocking off Lenoir-Rhyne in dominating fashion two weekends ago, North Greenville did not manage a first down until late in the second quarter.

How could North Greenville's offense go dormant in only a span of a week?

The offensive performances seemed to contradict one another. It contradicted itself like Sheriff Taylor's active role in the community he serves. It is well known that Andy is a town council member and sheriff. Under North Carolina statutes, Mr. Taylor could not do both.

Should Andy get involved in Newberry law enforcement? Perhaps South Carolina law would allow such involvement between its elected officials. (Sarcasm)

"I'm not going anywhere," laughed Andy. "You sure don't miss a detail or a fact do you Tommy?"

No sir, I do not.

Here is a fun factoid from Newberry's runaway win. Ivery's average completion went for 3.1 yards, while his average rush reached 4.7 yards per carry.

Week 4 Predictions

I went undefeated in my predictions last weekend, going a perfect 5-0. On the same token, who would have predicted that Tusculum would have forced three overtimes against Lenoir-Rhyne or that Mars Hill would be tied with Limestone at intermission? If its any consolation, I am 17-4 since Week 1. Wayne Allyn Root, a legendary sports handicapper and politician, may have better hair than myself, I prefer mine high and tight, but there is no way he would be 17-4 at this juncture of the 2015 season.

Carson-Newman: 35 Mars Hill: 32

The Eagles upcoming visit to Meares Stadium may not be as sensational as the Pope's visit to Washington D.C., but it is absolutely expected for Carson-Newman to rejuvenate itself after a terrible offensive showing against Catawba. This matchup could come down to who has the ball last will win the game. I normally side with senior quarterbacks in the SAC. Give me Carson-Newman in a squeaker.

Newberry: 28 Tusculum: 21

I do not foresee Tusculum putting together another performance for the second straight week against a stout conference foe. The Pioneers can dink and dunk better than Texas Tech in the Kliff Kingsbury days when he was a player, not coach. Is Newberry already jostling for a good playoff seeding, and its only Week 4? Give me the Wolves in a grind it out, ball-control style of game.

Catawba: 20 Wingate: 17

Catawba has lost four straight contests to Wingate, and I do anticipate a very close ball game. These two teams mirror each other in a lot of ways. Balanced offenses are always expected, and both teams can stuff the run week in and week out on defense. Give me Catawba under the lights and to make up for last year's 30-19 resounding defeat.

Lenoir-Rhyne: 42 Limestone: 28

When I first looked at this matchup, I wanted to pick Limestone. I really did. I also want to eat pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Now even though I do eat that way on occasion, you can't always get what you want. Lenoir-Rhyne's defense shows up this Saturday after giving up over 500 yards to Tusculum. Give me the Bears by two touchdowns.

Southern Utah: 55 Brevard: 0

This non-conference showcase between the Thunderbirds and Tornados will be over by the end of the first quarter. Southern Utah battled Utah State in a 12-9 encouraging loss to open their season on September 3rd, and just last week defeated Northern Colorado 30-3. I am not predicting any touchdowns by the Tornados in Cedar City, UT. (Or any Tornadic activity for that matter.) Was that a nice touch?