I am honored to write the South Atlantic Conference football column this fall. I have given a short preview of each team based on their predicted order of finish by the league coaches, followed by my Week 1 predicted scores as the conclusion. Oh, and I hope you don't mind that my love for the Andy Griffith Show and SAC football were combined when doing this column. The citizens of Mayberry were certainly of great help to me when I was in their neck of the woods not long ago.



#1 Lenoir-Rhyne

Lenoir-Rhyne went undefeated in the 2014 regular season and set a Division II record for rushing yards per game with an astonishing 416 yards. With that being said, is it any shock that the Bears were picked 9th in the latest D2Football.com National Preseason Poll?

That's like being shocked that Sheriff Andy Taylor does not carry a gun. (Or that Barney Fife has a single bullet in case of an emergency.)

Remember how Andy always pleaded with Aunt Bea to call "The Man" when something needed to be fixed?

If Aunt Bea were smart, she would have called senior offensive tackle Joe Ray to fix her freezer problems. I'm sure Ray could tinker with a household freezer, I mean c'mon, the young man is built like a refrigerator. They should go hand in hand right?

Ray is an All-American in everybody's book, but gone are running backs Chris Robinson and Jarrod Spears that amassed 2,500 rushing yards last year. Also gone is quarterback Miles Freeman, who was extremely effective in his option-craft under center. Michael Patrick and his 788 yards return in the Bear backfield, but there is no question the Bears will lean heavily on their imposing offensive line for a chance to go undefeated again.

"I guess you could say the Lenoir-Rhyne offensive line is like a side of beef," joked Aunt Bea.

Not bad Bea, that was pretty witty.

The Lenoir-Rhyne defense returns six, count 'em, six Preseason All-SAC performers. Chris Green on the defensive line presents real challenges to league opponents this fall, as does Marcus Kincaid in the back four. A stout Bear defense will do wonders for an offense that is going to give sophomore quarterback Evin Sims enough time to thaw.

Now that was witty, Bea.



#2 Carson-Newman

Carson-Newman had a peculiar number penciled next to its name in the preseason coaches poll.

The number 2.

I showed Barney and Andy the press release of this poll on my recent visit to see the Mayberry Justice of the Peace.

"Well, I declare!" exlaimed Sheriff Taylor. "Barn, isn't that the darndest thing you've ever seen?"

For the third time in five years, Carson-Newman was not picked as league favorites. The Eagles had been picked as SAC favorites from 1987 all the way to 2010. That's an unheard of streak, but under the direction of Coach Ken Sparks, it was expected. Clara Johnson had a similar streak at the fair with her tasty pickles. Sorry Aunt Bea, I had to give Clara her props.

Carson-Newman still expects SAC titles and deep playoff runs in the present day.

Quarterback De'Andre Thomas returns for what I believe is his ninth season. I could be wrong on that, somebody please confirm this for me. I believe his mastery of the veer mimics the play of Leonard Guyton from the Y2K days. His numbers back up that comparison. As a junior, Thomas passed for 1,170 yards and nine touchdowns, while compiling 850 yards and a dozen scores on the ground.

Carson-Newman only returns four starters on defense, and three of those young men are in the secondary. Coach Sparks is quite optimistic about his defensive group, saying in part that to refer to them as "young" isn't the correct term, but instead to label them as "exciting".



#3 Newberry

Newberry is projected to take the bronze medal this fall. Don't be surprised if Newberry acts as Lenoir-Rhyne's WWI motorcycle side car for much of this SAC season. The uncertainty of the Carson-Newman defense could allow a real push by the Wolves for SAC supremacy, and to be side by side with Lenoir-Rhyne down the stretch.

I assume Deputy Fife eavesdropped on this topic of conversation that Ellie Walker and I had at the drug store, because sure-enough, here comes Fearless Fife zooming down the street yelling, "I'm Lenoir-Rhyne and my side-car could be Newberry!"

Ellie and I both laughed and said in unison, "He's a nut."

I had no idea Ellie had such a passion for SAC football, and in particular, Newberry football.

She went on and on about their stout defensive line play in Alstevis Squirewell and Jalen Hunter. I spit out my milkshake at the mention of those names. "I thought they both were seniors last year?" I asked intently.

"I'm sorry, Tommy, both Squirewell and Hunter are seniors this year," replied Ellie.

Well this changes everything I thought to myself.

"Yeah, and not to mention linebacker Taylor McDonnell and safety Arnez Gray also return to lead the Wolves' defense," boasted Ellie.

I ordered another milkshake and told Ellie to keep the change if she can give me any insight on the Newberry offense. Of course working at a drug store has impacted her vocabulary quite a bit, because she said Coach Todd Knight will give the offense a healthy dose of Romelo Doctor. Sounds reasonable to me as Doctor is a rising star in this league at running back. He has the ability to be a 1,000 yard back.



#4 Catawba

Aunt Bee was cooking up a storm as I joined the Taylor family for dinner one night last week. "Well what do you know, spaghetti!" Andy told us all at the dinner table. "And what do you know, Mike Sheehan returns to quarterback the Catawba Indians in 2015."

From what I hear, Sheriff Taylor ate many spaghetti dinners that afternoon.

Sheehan will enjoy playing pitch and catch with Carlos Tarrats and Gary Williams again. A stacked backfield with David Burgess could lead to a balanced diet on offense.

I reminded Andy that eating only spaghetti is not a balanced diet.

Did you hear about the rumor going around Salisbury that Willy Wonka will name a brand new line of candy in honor of Catawba defensive end CJ Barskdale? It will be called the "Everlasting Runstopper". The junior will lead an inexperienced group of defensive linemen into the 2015 season after missing virtually the past two seasons due to injury.

Kyle Kitchens and Jamal Lackey will headline the linebacking unit, while Mark McDaniel won Oscars and Emmy Awards for his play at corner last fall. Two transfer defensive backs in the off-season should beef up the Tribe secondary in Wake Forest's DaiQuan Lawrence and Ball State's Roy Denson.



#5 Tusculum

I never thought I would see the day where Tusculum College would not have a top 100 passer in Division II in terms of yards. And it happened last year.

Of course, I also thought I'd never see the day where Aunt Bee would hire Mr. Wheeler for help with handyman services around their Mayberry home. And that happened too.

While Mr. Wheeler was fixing some shingles on the roof, I figured I would bring him some sweet tea and my amateur opinion of the Pioneer offense.

"I think the jury is still out on just how good their offense will be vertically," I explained to Mr. Wheeler. "Especially in the early part of this season."

Yes, Tusculum finished last season with four consecutive wins. As positive as that conclusion was for Coach Frankie DeBusk, let's remember that Kyle Dickey engineered those wins at QB, as opposed to the usual starter, Malcolm Pendergrass.

Dickey is no longer available as he was a senior.

Pendergrass is back for his sophomore campaign and looked very strong in their spring extravaganza, tossing three touchdowns and no picks.

Once Mr. Wheeler was finished with his sweet tea, I could overhear Andy Taylor talking with Mt. Pilot law enforcement about the household's newest handyman. They informed Andy that Mr. Wheeler is a weasel, and he would try to freeload off older women like Aunt Bee. He eats meals that Aunt Bee cooks, but doesn't really do any work.

Sheriff Taylor instructed that if Mr. Wheeler did not leave, he would send for linebacker L'Keith Brown. The sophomore was named the SAC Defensive Freshman of the Year last season, and delivers hits as fierce as a concrete truck.

On a more serious note, everyone in Division II mourned the loss of the "Big Coach" Louis DeBusk on August 6th. Frankie, we will all miss the way your father led the Pioneers onto the football field each season. He was larger than life.



Tied #6 Mars Hill

Mars Hill was picked to finish tied for sixth place in the preseason poll by the league's coaches. Donald Trump complains that our country is not manufacturing goods and products like we once were. Someone please inform Mr. Trump that Mars Hill has been manufacturing running backs for years.

Jonas Randolph hoisted the Harlon Hill Trophy nearly four years ago as a running back, and from what I gathered around the watercooler, could have pushed RG3 for the Heisman hardware.

I overheard Fife talking with Sheriff Taylor recently at Floyd's Barbershop about the Lions being picked sixth out of eight teams, but had two first team running backs.

"Ange, you have got to believe me," pleaded Fife. "Coach Tim Clifton's squad has Shaikel Davis and Jamel Harbison on the all-conference first team, but they are picked to finish near the basement of the SAC."

"Do what, Barn?!" exclaimed Andy.

I laughed and found myself shaking my head too. Mars Hill is always a team that is well-respected around the D2 galaxy, and if they can avoid some early meteors and asteroids in their season with QB Matt Layman, it would be one giant leap for mankind. They open up their 2015 slate at Western Carolina and Chattanooga.



Tied #6 Wingate

Big things are happening on the campus of Wingate University.

Their athletic's department announced they are the only Division II institution to ink a deal with ESPN3 for 28 home sporting events. This provides live national coverage to approximately 99 million households.

A Daktronics digital video scoreboard was unveiled in July after successful fund raising efforts were met.

While Gomer Pyle gassed up my car at Wally's Filling Station, we caught up on the improvements of the Wingate football program. I whipped out my IPhone, which took a while to explain to Gomer what a cell phone was, and showed him photos that the their legendary SID David Sherwood took of the stadium.

"Shazam! Gawww-leee!" said Pyle. "You mean to tell me that Wingate was picked to finish tied for sixth place in the SAC, and has a fancy stadium like that?"

Unfortunately Gomer, it's true.

Wingate returns plenty of playmakers though to make things spicy, including receiver Jordan Berry and his 50 catches last fall. Sprinkle in a high-profile receiver in Eastern Arizona College's Jody Fuller, who signed with Steve Spurrier's Gamecocks out of high school, and the Bulldogs could have a Texas Pete flavored offense.

"Surprise, surprise, surprise!" Gomer shouted in my direction as I left the station. "Brandon Hathaway and Eric Mapoles were tabbed as first team all-conference, Tommy!"

I had to reassure Gomer that those achievements were no suprise at all for these two gentlemen. Hathaway led the SAC with six interceptions, while Gibson is a prodigy at linebacker.

It's not fair that I ignored telling Gomer about Nortavius Otis and his physical play in the Wingate secondary, but give me some credit. I am not mentioning the name Otis in a small town like Mayberry.

Forget it.



#8 Brevard

Brevard's short-lived stay in the SAC is coming to a close within the next two years. Division III is on the horizon for the Tornados, and I, for one, wish Coach Paul Hamilton the very best in this transition. Let's face it, Brevard has not enjoyed many wins in recent memory, but their offense is dynamic in its efficiency and effectiveness.

Brevard finished third last season in the SAC in rushing yards per contest with over 321 yards.

To show you how stacked this tradition-rich league is, let me just say that Brevard was sixth nationally in that same category. Fearless Fife gave his opinion on that recently at the Snappy Lunch.

"I've told SAC defensive coordinators a thousand times that with all of these option teams like Brevard, you have got to nip the dive play up the middle! Nip it in the bud!" said the Mayberry deputy.

Not many teams were able to nip Brevard's offense in 2014, well, at least in the red zone. The Tornados led the country in red zone efficiency with 93.2% of their possessions yielding points. Defensive end Landon Allen will anchor the Brevard defense after suffering a season-ending injury in last year's opener. The Tornados open up the season with a tough opponent in Virginia Union, who is projected to finish third in a deep CIAA.



Week 1 Predictions

It's best to rip off these picks like a Band-Aid, so here it goes...


Thursday - September 3, 2015

Lenoir-Rhyne: 38 West Chester: 35
Carson-Newman: 60 Cumberland (KY): 24


Saturday - September 5, 2015

Virginia Union: 42 Brevard: 14
Catawba: 28 West Georgia: 27
Wingate: 49 Johnson C. Smith: 13
Western Carolina: 55 Mars Hill: 24
Newberry: 31 Florida Tech: 30
Tusculum: 33 Virginia-Wise: 10